~Wirtten on July 23, 2006~
I have a great job as a carriage driver now. True, it is really hot outside, but I was sitting on the bench while the horses were taking their break, and I thought how much I love to be outside regardless of hot weather. Tomorrow I need to get my taxi license, and then I can drive the horse while the other tour guide talks. I have to study a history book of Beaufort, take a certification test and learn the tour before I can do it myself.
My boss is a twenty year old guy named M. We have similar opinions and interests like horses, racing vehicles, country music, pool and politics. He seems moody, like he’s fun to talk to for a while, but he’s very abrupt when he leaves. It’s strange, but I like it that way. I can be friendly and have good conversations, and at the same time, he doesn’t act as if he likes me, so I’m not feeling uneasy.
I told another coworker that my husband died, only because he asked me if my husband is a marine. I think I should keep it to myself now. But every time we are sitting around talking, I want to tell about something Jason did, or something he used to do, or something he said. But I can’t say, “My husband…” because I don’t have a husband. I am a widow. So I just don’t mention him.
I could say, for example, that I went to see my in-laws this weekend so they could visit with my baby Caleb. I might as well, because I did. It sounds like I’m married if I say that, but why should I explain? I just wish Jason was still here. Then I could talk about him freely. I was so proud to talk about him. We had a great life. But people who did not know him will not understand.
I challenge you- let them talk. Your friend who lost her baby or even a stranger who is widowed after a 50 year marriage- just listen.
To sympathize, you don’t need to fix the problem, you just need to listen without judgment.
Who is the last person who poured their heart out to you?