Not Your Typical “Monday Blues.”
This morning, my FB news feed is flooded with silly memes about the “Monday blues.”
I see it every week.
But there’s one Monday I’ll never forget: March 20, 2006.
It wasn’t just the worst day of the week. It went down as the worst day of my life.
It was the day Jason died.
Today I’m waking up to the 11 year anniversary, and here it is falling on a Monday.
It’s like a mean little twist. I’m starting the week with a double shot of reminders on the calendar.
When Every Monday Was (pretty much) the Same…
Every Monday about 11 years ago I was waking up at random hours to make a bottle for my baby Caleb.
Every Monday about 11 years ago I was kissing Jason goodbye (if I was awake) as he left for work.
I watched tv shows while rocking Caleb in the recliner. We went out for a walk in the jogging stroller. I wrote the bill schedule on the calendar and balanced the check book. I drove Caleb to Beaufort so we could spent time with my parents.
Every Monday about 11 years ago was pretty much the same as every other day of the week.
…And Then It Wasn’t
On Monday morning, March the 20th, 2006, Jason went to work. I took Caleb to a babysitter and went job-hunting in town.
I spoke to Jason in the afternoon to tell him I was hired at the vet’s office. He was on the way home. I went to the babysitters’ house and lingered when they offered me lunch.
When I finally got back home with Caleb, both company vehicles were there. The person who was working with Jason was in the back yard throwing debris from his work van into the waste receptacle.
I handed him some mail, and I was told that Jason was inside. He wasn’t feeling well.
I twisted the knob on our back door. It was locked, even though it was never locked before.
I will forever hate coming home to a locked door.
On Monday morning, March 20th, 2006, I was a married mom looking for a job. That night I was a widow. I cried myself to sleep because he was not beside me.
I Think About All the Mondays He’s Missed
I wish that Jason was here on Monday nights to talk about the past weekend watching Caleb’s football games. I know they would rehash every detail, and Jason’s eyes would be sparkling.
I wish that Jason could be here to see Caleb at his karate Hyper class.
I wish that Jason could tell us about his day at work.
I wish these things and more for him and for Caleb.
Monday Doesn’t Look So Bad Anymore.
Today is Monday morning, March 20th, 2017, and soon I’ll wake Caleb up for school.
At work, Monday passes quickly with phone calls, email, tons of sales and some of the best co-workers that I could ever ask for!
Monday nights are set aside for relaxation. It’s my night off from working out. I look forward to cooking (which I definitely did NOT love 11 years ago)!
I text my family for requests before stopping for ingredients on the way home.
My fiance takes Caleb to karate and picks him up if I’m still cooking.
We watch our favorite shows on Netflix while we cuddle our chihuahuas on the couch.
I’m sure we will talk about the movie we saw this weekend, the live music at the restaurant and the “championship” air hockey games at the arcade.
Monday doesn’t look so bad anymore.
It’s Not Monday Anymore
Now I can look past Monday, March 20th.
I’m here with a man who encouraged me when I doubted myself.
I’m here with a man who said, “Jason would be proud of how far you’ve come.”